A dose of reality
So it finally happened.
I did my habitual, compulsive, and probably no so healthy check of the emails before going to bed on Friday, and there lay a response from an agent. I’d started putting out queries again, inspired by the Psychopomp Blues short going into competition. Empress Witch had gone a while with little attention, but I thought it worth a shot!
My general prep for receiving rejections goes like this: savour that initial rush of adrenaline when the word “reply” comes up, then hunker down and seek the words “sorry”, “unfortunately” or the most common, “not the right fit”. It’s a way of mitigating disappointment that’s basically become muscle memory. It’s no wonder, then, that when I found none of those dispiriting keywords, instead replaced by “liked your concept” and “upload manuscript”, I thought I must be malfunctioning.
Of course, this is only the preliminary stage; only the breaking through of the top crust of the process. Most likely, this interaction will end in rejection like the others, the only difference being that an agent read my whole manuscript through, and myself and my partner spent a whole Saturday morning raging at my compiling software.
Still, it’s a wonderful feeling to have all this hard work and fantastical toil acknowledged (at least partially) by someone who isn’t friend, family or coworker. Sometimes the attention of someone with a purely cold and professional interest can mean more.
I treated myself the day after I sent the manuscript. I took the dog for a long walk across the city, went to the cafe I used to frequent while writing the first draft of Empress Witch, and I indulged in some lore.
It felt different this time; not like pithy details destined to swirl around in my mind forever, but like real components of something that might one day be an acknowledged piece of work, a professional achievement. Dare I say… a product.
All this is to say, just a scrap of interest from the industry was enough to put a spring in my step even as the days darken.
Pib.
